I don’t have kids, I’m not in a position to have kids, I don’t have a partner right now. But for some reason I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I’d like to raise my kids with respect to gender socialization.
And I’d really, really like for my child to decide their gender for themselves. I’d like to give them a gender neutral name, and use gender neutral pronouns, and have a closet with both dresses and overalls and let them decide for themselves what they want to wear.
I’ve had an entirely cisnormative life, so it would take a good amount of education on my part to do it right, but it’s doable, and definitely worthwhile.
But I’m also really, really scared. I know I’d be judged if I try to raise my child in such a way, and that’s daunting. But more so I’m afraid my child will be judged, by adults, and that I won’t be there to do anything about it.
But if my child is trans, then they’d feel judged and out-of-place anyways, right? So I should make sure that they know that they have love and support at home.
It’s a lot to contemplate. Good thing I won’t be having kids for a while.
Good for you! I’d appreciated if my parents had done the same. Instead, as an adult in his 20s I always have to erase my gender identity and downplay my gender presentation around my parents. This issue is definitely driving a wedge between us.
If I ever had kids, I’d also raise them free of gender roles and boxes. I wouldn’t say I was letting them “decide” their gender identity, because I don’t believe that’s how it works, but I’d give them the room to explore and figure it out for themselves. I wouldn’t use gender-neutral pronouns either. I think that would cause too much unnecessary attention and too much burden on the people around them. But letting them choose and mix-and-match wardrobe, toys, roles in make-believe games, stories & books - definitely! They can play a boy one day and a girl the next. It might be fun if they could decide which pronouns they wanted to use on a given day, and I could just say, “Robin (or whatever name) is a boy today.” And everyone else would just have to deal with it.
I don’t actually want kids, but I enjoy thinking about how I’d raise and educate them.
Ooh, I like the idea of them switching up pronouns on any given day.
I would definitely want to do that as well. Now, when I go to baby showers, I make sure to get them stuff that’s gender neutral, so at least that way, regardless of how they raise their kids, I’m not partaking in any gender norms and roles.
(via face--the--strange)Source: hystericalmarissa
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